Efficient Families Have More Fun
Ten years ago, my dad died fairly young after a short bout with cancer. He was 65, and I was 35. My wife Amanda and I were just starting a family with our second child born months before my dad got sick. With a marriage in the “young family years,” I had just lost one of the most important people in my life. Questions flooded my mind. Who would I call for help when I had a home project I couldn’t figure out? Who would give non-biased career advice? Who would help center me when I was thinking irrationally or emotionally?
Finding Stability
Over the past ten years, I have leaned deeper into my faith, confided in my wife, and utilized YouTube tutorials to find answers to most of those questions I called my dad for. Thankfully, my parents always pointed me toward Jesus and His sweet promises, which provided a constant source of wisdom through His Word and a central stabilizing force in my life.
The Efficiency of My Parents’ Marriage
When I reflect on their marriage, there are many reasons it was successful, including a shared faith, focus on family, and conservative spending. But the one that I’d like to dig into today is how they worked together; their marriage was efficient. Ask my wife and my team at work, and they will all say that I value efficiency, sometimes to a fault and sometimes even in a sinful way. But in its purest form, I think efficiency is life-giving.
What Does It Mean to Have an Efficient Marriage?
Simply put, it means working together as a couple to get the work done so you can enjoy the time left over. In the 35 years before my dad passed, I witnessed my parents live this out in a very real way. They helped one another out, even if the work was typically assigned to a certain gender. Dad would wash dishes and do laundry; Mom would help in the yard and work on home repair projects. They didn’t have these rules of what they would or wouldn’t do around the house; they just got it done. There wasn’t a lot of wasted time in our house discussing or arguing over responsibilities, and until I was older, I didn’t realize this was unique.
The Irony and Struggle
Here is the ironic part of this story: as much as I love efficiency and had parents that modeled it in a healthy way, I often fail at being efficient at home and spend precious time assessing what is “fair” instead of just getting it done. So why would I write about it? Because I believe it’s the best way for families to spend more time together. When a husband and wife complement one another rather than contradict one another, life should be more efficient and peaceful, and I’m always seeking more peace.
Let Me Leave You With This
Go crush those household responsibilities with your wife so you can enjoy more of God’s creation as seen in your family and the beautiful world around you!
