How Our Smartphones Leave Our Kids Behind
It was a typical Saturday. My wife, Maria, and I, along with our two kids, Lina and Joel, were enjoying some family time in the playroom and the living room. I noticed that Maria and I were both on our phones scrolling while the kids played. This is something we’ve been continuously working on improving, and many times failing at.
There’s no shortage of articles and information online about the effects of our phone use on our kids. Even infants can sense when our attention isn’t fully on them, and our young children, Lina, who is almost four, and Joel, at 15 months, definitely notice. They see us on our phones all the time, and I can only imagine how highly they must think we regard our phones - because in actuality we do.
As the kids started to get bored with their current activities, I realized something I’d never thought before:
As you know, the entertainment our smartphones provide gives us dopamine hits, keeping us entertained in any situation while our kids are left enjoying whatever they/we can conjure up when playing.
Recently, it’s been so hot outside that we haven’t been able to play outdoors much, leading to a bit of cabin fever. My wife and I can easily escape this boredom with a quick swipe on our phones, but our kids can’t.
This disparity isn’t fair to them.
Reflecting on Our Own Habits
Another idea came to me in that moment as the Saturday morning dwindled into tantrums and grumpy refusals of fruits and veggies during lunch: if my wife and I deprived ourselves of that instant gratification from our phones during downtime with the kids, I wonder if we would become more proactive and creative in finding things to do together as a family. We’d be bored too, and naturally, we’d look for fun activities that involve everyone.
Exploring Digital Minimalism
The trendy term for beginning to walk away from all these digital distractions that surround us is digital minimalism. Now, if you’ve never taken steps toward digital minimalism, it’s hard to dive into. Patterns and habits with our tech have been built up over the years as devices and social media channels have developed and grown into our every waking hour. It requires a conscious effort to evaluate our digital habits and make deliberate choices about how we use technology.
Introducing Dumb Phones into the Mix
This brings me to the idea of “dumb phones.” Dumb phones have been on my radar for quite some time and the industry is actually somewhat booming as more and more consumers realize being all but physically attached to our phones isn’t always the best thing for us. However, it’s not always practical to put our smartphones away completely, especially with the demands of parenting, work, and staying connected with friends and family. However, gradually building up to more intentional phone use is a step in the right direction. One way I am curious to explore this is by using a dumb phone.
There are a couple of dumb phones I’m excited about. One is the Wisephone 2 by Techless, and another is the Light Phone 3 by The Light Company. These companies are creating devices that aim to give us back our time and help us be more intentional with it, rather than being constantly obsessed and addicted to our smartphones. We can use these phones on nights or weekends, or take the plunge and go full out and ditch the smartphone - again, easier said than done depending on the tools you actually need for life and work.
What Exactly Is A Dumb Phone?
Dumb phones are designed to provide only the essential functions: calling, texting, and perhaps a few basic utilities like a calculator or flashlight. By stripping away the endless apps and notifications, these phones help us break free from the constant barrage of digital stimuli. This can lead to more mindful and focused living. With a dumb phone, we are less likely to get sucked into the vortex of social media, games, or news feeds. Instead, we can be more present in the moment and engage more deeply with our surroundings and loved ones, while being able to stay in contact with those who are important to us.
For many of us, the idea of giving up our smartphones cold turkey can be daunting. A gradual transition might be more manageable. We can start by setting specific times of the day when we use our dumb phones instead of our smartphones. For example, during family time in the evenings or on weekends, we could switch to our dumb phones. Over time, as we become more accustomed to this practice, we might find that we don’t miss our smartphones as much as we thought we would.
Building a Support System
It’s also important to build a support system. Share your intentions with friends and family and encourage them to join you in this journey. Having a community of like-minded individuals can provide motivation and accountability. You can share tips, challenges, and successes, making the process more enjoyable and less isolating. It’s also a good thing to let friends and family know it may be a bit harder to reach you and you may not be able to reply to that instagram story or facebook message as quickly as you usually do.
Conclusion: A More Intentional Life
In conclusion, by acknowledging the impact our phone use has on our children (and ourselves) and making a conscious effort to limit it, we can create a more engaging and connected family environment. Exploring options like dumb phones to bridge the gap between obsessive smartphone usage and no phone whatsoever could be a step towards achieving a more balanced and intentional life, both for ourselves and for our kids. It’s about reclaiming our time and attention, focusing on what truly matters, and setting a positive example for our children. By doing so, we not only improve our own well-being but also nurture a healthier, more connected family life.
Join me in finding ways to strive to be more mindful and intentional, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of our children and our walk with God.
