Redefining Family Vacations
Family vacation is this once in a year, special time where we step away from normal routines (school, work, household responsibilities) and spend quality time together in a different setting. We want our children and wives to look back fondly on those memories for the rest of their lives. I don’t know about you, but several of my prior family vacations didn’t exactly feel that way. We see these perfect photos on social media from other families having the time of their life at the beach, Disney (seriously – how are they going to Disney again?), or some picturesque resort and it leaves us longing for more. This ‘vacation’ is literally the same mess I deal with every day at home – what is this?
When sharing frustrations about family vacation two years ago – a friend shared an article with me from 2008 by C.J. Mahaney that is potentially more true today than when it was written. I wanted to summarize a few high points from the article, and encourage you to read the entire thing.
Servant Heart
We often expect vacation to be a relaxing time away from work to mentally check out and rest for the physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Instead – family vacations are a special chance to lead, serve, and work in a different, potentially more strenuous way than the work week. God has called husbands to lead and serve their families. The disposition of the father sets the tone for the family vacation – and serving with joy, not out obedience or obligation. This opportunity comes infrequently and memory-making vacations do not happen by accident. I encourage you to approach your vacations with a servant’s heart, seeking to glorify God through loving and pouring grace over your family.
Pastor and theologian J.D. Greear mentioned in 12 Truths and A Lie how he reframed ‘vacation’ in his mind to ‘family time’. If he goes in seeking the well-being and to serve his family, it is a lot more pleasurable than if you expected to sit there and mentally check out for a week.
Tone Setting Attitude
The sinful attitude of a father cannot be overcome by any ‘perfect’ vacation destination. Despite Disney World, Fiji, or that picture perfect mountain house-children’s memories are primarily shaped by the father’s disposition, positive or negative. The focus of our attitude and disposition should begin at the foot of the cross. We are hopeless sinners without the Gospel and the grace of the Lord should overflow in our lives. Vacations are an opportunity to reflect on the evidence of grace in our life and blessings God has given us! He has saved us from sin and death, and given us this wonderful family. Let your family see your gratefulness on vacation and pour out appreciation and affection on your children. To mature spiritually is always to begin again and start with the Gospel. Let the Gospel set your attitude for your vacation.
An Awareness of Indwelling Sin
You would hope that being on vacation would make all of your normal sin patterns/tendencies go away – but it may only magnify them. “We are deceived if we think that a mere change in location or finding an idyllic setting will somehow suspend the active nature of sin.” Sin can be intent on ruining your vacation. If you do not mentally prepare for temptation and sin, you and your family could potentially be more prone to sin on the vacation.
Make a gameplan and think about where and how you may be tempted to sin. Ask your spouse about things she has noticed in family life or on prior vacations to help you grow in awareness of these patterns. Prepare your wife and children for their temptations. particularly children’s tendencies to be selfish and complain. Help them to be grateful and root them in scripture in the month leading up to vacation.
Gratefulness to God
Family vacations are a wonderful opportunity to express gratefulness to God for his blessings. It can start with gratefulness in terms of ‘thank you God for allowing me to experience this’. But it can go further in adoring, worshiping God. Think about God’s character and how he created these experiences for you to enjoy. For example – thank God for creating the beach and the beauty that it displays. Praise God for how he gave humans the creativity to think of Boogie Boarding – and how that displays an aspect of his character. He wants to laugh and enjoy life and that is a foretaste of eternity worshiping Him.
Conclusion
I have started reading this article annually about one month prior to my vacation. I will take a section every 2-3 days and ponder on what this looks like in our family dynamic. The Lord is so good and has blessed us tremendously to even take a family vacation. Lead your family well by spiritually and mentally preparing for this unique opportunity. You should be more exhausted after each day on vacation than after a hard day at work. Praise God for family vacations. Go lead well!
